A Balanced Life, LLC

Self Improvement Month

The month of September signifies many different things to me.  I immediately think that September is a chance to sneak in a last minute summer get away during the Labor Day weekend.  It also marks that time when kids go back to school.  This means that the warm lazy days of summer are over and they will soon be traded in for the fun fall leaves that will shortly be falling from the trees.  September is really special to me because I share September as my birthday month with many of my close friends.  So in my mind, September is a month of transition physically and mentally.

I was pleased to discover that September is Self Improvement Month. This is the perfect time of year to recognize what areas in our lives in which we can make improvements. There are many different things about each of us that use some improvement. Some of the areas we may look to improve can be :

• How well do we think we are balancing the various roles in our lives
• Health
• Relationships with family and friends
• Finances
• Giving our personal, spiritual and professional goals some clarity

Including September, there are 4 more months left in the year.  This is the perfect time to pause, be a little selfish and do some "me" work.  It is critical that we don't loose our sense of self or loose focus of our goals because we are busy with helping others be their best and achieve their own goals.  Remember, it is never too late to rebuild any part of our lives.

Glued in Place

Have there ever been periods in your life when you have felt that you are just plain stuck?  You may feel   as if you can't get your motor going and it's easier just to let life happen.  In your mind you may think about the many things that you know you could or should be doing.  But you just don't have the energy to invoke change.  During these times you may even feel as if one day just flows into the next with any effort on your part. Yu may also feel  like your just going through the motions. 

When I have experienced these feelings I would feel like I was stuck in one place; almost like I was glued in place.  Even though I had these feelings it was important that I couldn't allow myself to surrender to being glued in place.  I had to remember that I had the choice and the power to become unstuck.

Each of us is endowed with personal power. There are certain circumstances and situations that we can control. It comes down to 2 choices. We have the power to choose to take control of our life or we can continue to allow our lives to take control of us.  I will admit there are times when I have felt that it was much easier to go with the flow and accept whatever life happened to bring my way.  I would allow myself to just be glued in place and I would react to my circumstances. The danger with this strategy is that staying glued in placed and in reactionary mode did not allow me to be empowered to design my life. 

Maintaining Balance

It is hard to believe that we are in the middle of January in the year 2010. The new year brought in new expectations, dreams and intentions.  We are now reaching the point in the new year when some start to revert back to old habits.  However, now more than every it is time to stay focused and keep our New Year intentions in the front of our mind.  Having a sense of balance in our lives can assist us in achieving our new intentions.  There are several things we can keep in mind to assist us in feeling balanced every day.  Try to remember to:  

• Be realistic with your time.  Don't over schedule yourself.  Allot a few more minutes to complete a task then you think it requires.  Avoid calendar congestion by writing your schedule on a calendar or keep it in your Smartphone.  Consult it before scheduling commitments.

• Prepare the night before.  To help you get back in the saddle, it's a good idea to get ready the night before.  This doesn't just mean picking our your clothes and packing the kids lunches.  It can also include looking at your calendar and to-do list for the next day.  Consider all your obligations; not just what you have going on in the office.  Taking a glance at you commitments can help put you in the right mindset for the morning.

• Carefully evaluate all of your commitments.  It's great to be the one who volunteers for an extra project at work or sign up to make 3 dozen cupcakes for your child's class party.  However, before you raise your hand it is important to make sure that it's the right time and the right commitment.  You don't have to be everything to everybody.

• All the planning the world can't prevent the unexpected from happening.  It is critical for you to be flexible.  Being able to adapt to the unexpected is crucial when planning for the days, weeks and months ahead.

Keeping these things in mind will allow you to design a life that is balanced.  Remember, maintaining a sense of work life balance is a daily LIFESTYLE not just a New Year's Resolution. You can keep your momentum going!

What Makes Your Heart Smile?

The amazing thing about life is that we have choices.  We can choose to do nothing and except what life dumps in our laps.  We can choose behaviors that have negative consequences. We can choose to invoke changes that will have a positive impact on our lives. Within us lies the power and ability to design a life that is full of integrity.

There is something that we should remember to consider when we are deciding on what changes to implement.  If we are trying to align our lives with our personal definition of integrity we should consider things that make our heart smile.  Our hearts should smile about all aspects of our lives. Our hearts should smile about:

• Our family
• The career we have chosen
• The friends and the company we keep
• Our finances
• How we spend our leisure time
• And the list goes on and on

There are so many people who have careers, relationships and materialistic things that detract from their lives.  However, our lives should be filled with things that add joy and make our heart smile.  I encourage each of you to really examine any areas that don't make our hearts smile.  Be honest with yourself and formulate a plan for change.  Your deserve a to have a life of integrity and one that makes your heart smile.

Define Your Integrity

As busy women, it is important for us to define who we truly are and where our life is headed.  Living a life of integrity and defining our integrity is the foundation for living a life that is balanced and fulfilled. It is important for us to ask ourselves Who Am I?

I like to define integrity as knowing WHO we are.  When I say WHO, I am speaking in regards to how WE define ourselves as women. WHO we are is not the same as WHAT people call us or WHAT we may do. These are what I consider to be roles we play or labels that are given to us.  For instance, our children call us mother; our spouse calls us wife; we may be a teacher.  These roles or labels may all be positive. However, they do not define WHO we truly are. When no one is around and we are by ourselves, WHO ARE WE?

Living a life of integrity allows us to answer that question.  It also allows us to define for ourselves WHO we are and What we are called to do in life.  Living a life full of integrity is not a destination.  It is a process.  Living our lives with integrity and aligning our daily actions with our calling is a journey.

Crash and Burn

Living life at a non-stop pace can easily become normal.  It is not unheard of a person who has to juggle multiple obligations at home, work, at church, and in our community. However, if you try to keep the pace of the Energizer Bunny you can easily crash and burn.

Burnout is a medical condition that does not discriminate. Burnout doesn't care if you are a mother, student, if you work or are a stay at home mom  or how much money you have in the bank. It can effect you both physcically and emotionally. All of us are susceptible to burnout if we don't take precaution. 

Burnout happens when your life is off kilter and not balanced for an extended period of time.  The signals of burnout can be very similar to stress.  It is very important to recognize if you are exhibiting any of the symptoms of having burnout and make any necessary modifications.  For some, this may mean consulting with a medical professional. 

If you have suffered burnout, it is important to make sure that you make modifications to prevent you from have reoccurring relapses.  There are three simple tips that can help:

1. Using effective time management skills
2. Say No.  Be honest if you aren't able to fulfill a request. 
3. Ask for help.  You don't have to be everything by yourself.  Asking for help is not a signal of weakness. 

I'm sure you can identify periods in your life when you suffered from burnout. When you think of these periods in your life, you can also recall how this was not a pleasant experience.  A key to living a balanced life is prevention. You have to live your lives so that you positively and proactively manage your daily obligations and responsibilities.  Doing this will prevent us you from crashing and burning.

Shining The Mirror On The Inside

The month of June brings a lot of buzz.  The kids are getting out of school, summer is beginning and it's time to start the family vacations.  All of these things are exciting and fun.  Yet, June can also be the time of year that we do a self evaluation.

Typically, January is the time of year that people make "resolutions." This is great, but it shouldn't stop there.  Once we come up with our plan for success we have to evaluate it's effectiveness and make modifications if necessary.  Since June is Rebuild Your Life Month and it's it in the middle of the calendar year, it's a perfect time to Shine the Mirror on the Inside.

To get this process going, I looked at the following areas:

• What strategies are working to help me feel balanced?

• What areas do I feel need to be strengthened?

• Have I made any progress toward my goals?

• Do I need to change any of my goals?

Spending some time in self reflection has allowed me to come up with a road-map for the rest of my year. I was excited when I took this time to Shine the Mirror on the Inside.  I was really amazed that I didn't find this task daunting. In the past my life was extremely unbalanced.  Participating in this type of analysis would have felt overwhelming.  This is because I wouldn't have any idea of where to begin. But not any more, I am living my life purposefully and it feel great!

It Is, What It Is

One important thing that women should come to terms with is that there are some things we just can't control. Being able to distinguish between what we can and can't control is important when striving for a life of balance.  When you understand this distinction and accept it then it keeps you from wasting time and energy.

Life brings each of us a bunch of "stuff" to deal with. This is not to say that this "stuff" isn't upsetting or there isn't any need for concern.  However, fretting over things that are out of our control is not productive. There have been many instances in my life that I would worry myself senseless over situations and people that I couldn't control.  This was physically and mentally exhausting.

My new strategy is to determine if I have ownership of the problem. If I don't, then I no longer focus my attention on it. In reality all I can control is my reaction and my attitude about the situation. That's it.  Truthfully, that's enough.  I can't surrender my power to something that doesn't belong to me. No longer do I get all bent out of shape.  No longer to yell and scream.  No longer do I let it ruin my day.  I have learned to accept that "It Is What It Is!!"

Running For Cover

Have you ever had one of those days when you said to yourself, "Why me" or "This can't be real."  Well, at times it feels like these days turn into weeks and sometimes the weeks turn into months.  It can feel like I am living out some cruel practical joke.  This is especially true at work.  I mean some of the problems I have to deal with are absolutely ridiculous.

Today was one of those days.  I just wanted to run for cover in my office and let out a huge Charlie Brown, "UUUUGGGGGHHHH."  But then I had to immediately remind myself that I have to pull myself together.  Since I have a leadership position, I have to maintain my composure. I set the tone for my organization.  I have to model the behavior that I desire out of my employees.  If my expectation is that my employees maintain their cool, then I have to do the same.

Now, this is not to say that I am not in tough with my feelings. But since I am a leader, I don't have the luxury of having a public temper tantrum or meltdown.  I have to be able to keep my calm and think rationally.  There are people who are depending on me to provide them with guidance.  I need to be able to confidently lead my team when there is adversity.

Another important trait that I had to develop was my ability to be able to switch gears.  Since I wear multiple hats, I can't let one situation dictate the outcome of my entire day.  I had to learn to compartmentalize.  My customers and employees expect excellent service. They are not concerned with the issues that I have to deal with behind the scenes.

The reality of life is that problems occur.  There are things I can control.  There are also more things that I can't control.  I have learned this lesson the hard way.  All I can do is to try to make the best decision I can and maintain my cool.