How many times have you been at work, at your child's school or at church when someone nominates you to do something? I can think of countless time when I have been volunteered for something. I can also think of countless times when I have been in these situations and no one volunteers. So I then feel some sort of obligation and I raise my hand and say,"I'll do it."
In both of these scenarios I can remember feeling honored because someone has confidence in my abilities or that I was the one who stepped up to the plate when no one else would. But I can also recall instances when I didn't feel that same level of excitement when the time came to fulfill my obligation.
Sometimes I would regret saying yes. Other things would come up and I would loose focus. And then there were other times when I just didn't want to do it. However, I would push through these feelings of regret and do what I agreed to do. I really didn't enjoy this internal struggle. Now, I think before I say yes.
Before I make a commitment to a request, I think about the following:
- Is the request in alignment with my purpose? Is participating in the request going to enhance or detract from my current goals. Sometimes the request is for a good cause. However, the timing can be off. So I have to decide if it's the right thing to do at the right time.
- Consider my schedule. It is natural to have periods in your life that are busier than others. For me this is during the summer months. Because I recognize this, I limit the amount of commitments that I take on during the summer. I have to be cautious that I don't overextend myself.
- Identify alternatives. I don't have an all or nothing outlook. For instance, it may not be feasible for me to be the PTO president this school year. However, I could identify an alternative way to positively participate. Maybe, I can chair the food drive committee. This way there is a shorter time obligation.
I get back to the requester after I have thought about these things. It doesn't take a long time for me to come to a decision. Sometimes I can run these things through my mind on the spot. Then there are other times when I tell the requester that I have to get back with them. However, I am timely in my response. I want to be able to give the requester enough time to find someone else to assist if I am not able to help.
All of us lead extremely busy lives. Each day we are given 24 hours. That's it. So it is important that we are careful when we take on extra commitments. We should never say yes out of guilt or because we don't want someone to be upset with us. When we do this, we can subconsciously harbor resentment toward our obligation. So to prevent this, make sure to think long and hard before you say yes.
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